Is Your Loved One Hiding Their Dementia Symptoms?

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Is Your Loved One Hiding Their Dementia Symptoms?

What Is Masking in Dementia? A Personal Story and a Call for Awareness
When people hear the word “masking,” they often think of skincare routines—not cognitive decline. But in the context of dementia, masking refers to when a person actively conceals their symptoms. This can include making excuses, avoiding certain situations, or downplaying memory lapses to maintain a sense of normalcy. It’s a real and common phenomenon that can delay critical diagnosis and treatment.

I’ve seen this firsthand.

My father, a brilliant and resourceful former math teacher, masked his symptoms for years. Living in separate countries, our family stayed close through daily calls and video chats. I noticed he was becoming more forgetful during the COVID-19 pandemic, but it wasn’t until I saw him in person again that I realized the severity of his condition. He was disoriented, confused, and struggling with tasks he once completed with ease. Soon after, he was diagnosed with mid-stage dementia.

At first, I was overwhelmed with guilt. How had I missed the signs? Looking back, I realized he was often deflecting, using humor, changing topics, or simply charming his way through conversations to hide the changes in his cognition. That’s when I truly understood masking.

Common Signs of Masking in Dementia

Denial – Insisting “I’m fine,” even when issues are apparent
Social withdrawal – Avoiding conversations, events, or interactions they used to enjoy
Repeating stories or questions – Trying to cover memory gaps by pretending to engage
Hiding problems – Downplaying symptoms or using distractions
Overstating independence – Insisting they can manage everything on their own, even when they clearly struggle

Why Do People Mask Dementia Symptoms?

Fear of losing independence
- Worrying that acknowledging symptoms may lead to losing control over their daily life
Social stigma
- Embarrassment over forgetfulness or fear of being judged, pitied, or treated differently
Fear of being placed in a nursing home
- Concerns about being removed from their familiar home environment and routines

My Personal Experience
During the pandemic, travel restrictions meant I couldn’t visit my parents. We spoke daily over video calls, and I noticed my father was becoming more forgetful. I suspected something was wrong, but I didn’t realize how advanced his condition was until I saw him in person. The changes were heartbreaking.

This was a man who could fix anything, build with his hands, solve complex math problems. But now he repeated questions, got disoriented easily, and had trouble completing familiar tasks. He had been masking his symptoms for years.

In hindsight, I noticed he often:

Changed the subject when I asked certain questions
Used humor or storytelling to avoid memory-related topics
Asked me questions to redirect attention
Smiled and nodded instead of admitting confusion

Coming to Terms and Moving Forward
For a long time, I struggled with self-blame:

Why didn’t I recognize the signs sooner?
Should I have visited earlier?
How did I not see that this was more than just normal aging?

But eventually, I found peace by accepting what I couldn’t change—and choosing to focus on what I could do.

Now, I:

Ensure my father gets the medical care he needs
Offer reassurance during moments of fear, paranoia, or sadness
Provide a safe, supportive environment where he can age with dignity

Why We Started Silver Lantern Homecare
My husband and I created Silver Lantern Homecare to support other families going through similar experiences. We know how overwhelming it can be to navigate dementia—especially when the signs are subtle or hidden.

Our team is committed to: